Holding myself accountable.

Okay.

Okaaaayyyyy.

Alright. Here I go.

Holding myself accountable. 

Claiming who I am and what I want. And not claiming the .org or .net version of myself. I'm claiming the damn .com... no matter what the price. Why do you care and why I am I writing this? Because I am not disciplined enough to just do it on my own. I am far 'too busy' to be holding myself accountable ALL the time.. or any of the time. I feel like it's not even so much holding myself accountable, but it's really owning who I am and everything that means; what makes me happy, what makes me afraid, what challenges me, my strengths, what excites me, what motivates me... all of these things I would actually have to think about and I'm not completely confident that I'd have a definitive answer. And if I can't answer these questions about myself, who can? 

I don't want to make this too drawn out because I'm learning how to do this as I go. Not that I want to edit or limit myself, I just don't want to confuse and overwhelm myself. That's really easy for me to do, unfortunately. 

This is where I begin..

where I begin to understand myself

accept myself

and own myself.

I've wasted so much time being so unhappy all the while knowing better. That makes it worse.. when you know better. When you know you don't want to be this way. 

Hold me accountable and I'll promise to do my best. 

 

 

I'm a Foster Mommy!!!

This week I decided to change things up a bit and become a foster mommy to a rescued animal.  

Everyone, meet Brim! (loath that name, but I don't get to change it)

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The smaller dog is my 10 year old Morkie, Killer. He's not thrilled in the least to be sharing his home, but this adjustment is good for him, too, so he doesn't stay a grump! Brim is a black German Shepard, apparently a very rare color for the breed. His beautiful, hazel puppy eyes will make you fall in love at first sight, which, I did. Man oh man, I had no idea what I was in for!

When Killer was a puppy, he was the best. Just a bag of bones like me, during high school. He was quick to pick up potty training and really everything else. I consider him more human, than Morkie, let's just say that. I grew up with big dogs and I've been missing what big dogs bring to the table. Their size and playfulness, you can really get rough with them! Small dogs you'll squash if you get too rowdy. Brim has definitely been a welcoming change of routine and yet a mighty challenge in patience and discipline. Honestly, I think this is the best situation to find myself in. I could use a make up class in both patience and discipline and what better way to practice then with a puppy full of life. Sounds better than the actuality, but it's really the most amazing feeling when you start seeing progress. It makes everything worth it and it feels good to be helping someone/something meet it's highest potential - or at least get closer to it. I can learn a thing or two about that, myself (ha!). With a little bit of TLC, patience and discipline, we can go a long way. Like Brim, I have quite a bit of work ahead of me but if Brim can do it, why can't I? Progress is so powerful and if you not acknowledging it is a crime against yourself. You are your worst enemy, but you don't have to be. Man, I thought this post was going to be about a foster mom and her new foster puppy, not some deep metaphor. How profound! Okay, now more puppy pictures!!!